The longer we are exposed, the more affected and sensitive we are. :). Singing, coughing, sniffling - you name it. I agree that it seems that this person is harassing or bullying her. And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. But I need you to stop the constant comments about me., 3. Boss needs to investigate whether theres a yet-unidentified cause related to OP, and direct Coworker to leave OP out of it if not (or if that cause isnt reasonable to ask OP to address, like Coworker just dislikes OPs natural smell). Gym stories. I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. If the coworker is treating this as a medical sensitivity, or is escalating her complaints to your boss, then I think you need to get some help with the situation. Jane says it smells like patchouli. Making Jane smell your purse or sleeves every time she complains about it should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining. People smell a certain way. I even bought new clothes. The advice is spot on. Yet every time shes near me she complains about the fragrances she says Im wearing. Ive started turning music on while we eat as a distraction, even though I usually find background noise annoying, I just requested a two-sided headset to replace my one-sided one so it will fully block the sound of a cubicle neighbor slurping on lollipops and tapping them against her teeth. You are kind co-worker. Luckily for the me vs. scent sensitivity problem a lot of added fragrances give me issues as well so generally you cannot smell any of my stuff unless youre WAY up in my personal space. Virtually all businesses frown upon annoyances as burping and excessive sniffing, as they're breaches of basic workplace etiquette. Since I am one of those super sensitive people, I can say I have smelled things strongly that my friends and family cannot smell at all. Yesterday your breath smelled and that's going to hinder talking to customers. Morning all. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. Ive been good so far, though. I will also say, as someone who is very sensitive to smells, that if the scent bothers the coworker it would probably only take a trace amount for her to smell it, although shes handling it like a jerk. I dont like using them, because they seem very anti-social, but I will in places I cant get out of and have no chance of controlling like an airplane or in a taxi. My mother had a scarf, ages ago, that smelled like patchouli. I have the sinking feeling that OPs coworker is going to be a classic case of you cant prove a negative. Ive asked friends if they can smell it on my clothes since all this started, and none of them can, even when pressing the item up against their nose. Yes, this is what Im finding a little boggling about a lot of the comments talking about scents at home, in mattresses, sheets, etc. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. They want to give my seat to others wearing cologne. Not a certainty, of course, but a possibility. Oh college lol. . it. Men also use this gesture to stake their territory or to show other men that they're not afraid. I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! My cat peed on a mattress after a surgery and I could not get the smell out of my nose. Makes me smell like an old shoe. She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. A good patch essential oil is deep and earthy, almost like sweet dirt. 2. Maybe your coworker is just rude, but if blowing my nose would fix the problem, I would do it. When everything is researched and it ends up being something other than you, shell have to quit harassing you. The exaggerated sniffing definitely sounds like she is just being a pain. I have a favorite crock pot recipe that I havent made in 20 years because I got sick the last time I ate it (I am sure it was a virus and had nothing to do with the food, but even thinking about it nauseates me) Oncologists sometimes feed kids maple ice cream before chemo because they would rather their bodies associated the illness with something easily avoided than with the cheerios or scrambled eggs they had for breakfast that day. assigning women extra work to help them, calling out when youre in the ER, and more. I had another friend that said they also became scent-sensitive when they were having chemo. I wonder if OP has tried washing her clothes with a diluted vinegar mix? Theyre going through chemo, they may as well have a pleasant food. And they find a way to deal with that.because they cant control it. The OP has been, it seems, acting like a reasonable adult, which is great when dealing with another reasonable adult. i'll pass the info along, it's really appreciated! They gave us a list of suggested unscented, fragrance free, hypoallergenic laundry and hygiene items. if there is a sensitivity at play here, it should be on the workplace to figure out an accommodation for the affected employeenot for OP to try even harder to obliterate every aromatic molecule from her clothes/jackets/chairs/PORES(?!!?? McCoy is a journalism graduate of Ryerson University. I hate it having hose nose because of miso I fully understand others hating sniffling but hose nose leaves me no choice. I have coworkers who occasionally wear scents, but we work in different areas, and I only have to endure the smell during the elevator ride, etc. Say nothing. I resent our new hires for setting better work-life boundaries than our company normally has, hairy legs at work, my office sent me a random TV, and more, heres an example of a great cover letter with before and after versions, my employee cant handle even mildly negative feedback, my new coworker is putting fake mistakes in my work so she can tell our boss Im bad at my job, insensitive Diversity Day, how to fire someone who refuses to talk to us, and more, weekend open thread February 25-26, 2023, assistant became abusive when she wasnt invited to a meeting, my coworkers dont check on people who are out sick, and more. blanket? For the two years I worked there, there was not another issue. And if that doesnt work, go to HR. They were everywhere. I feel like Id want to get to the root of the problem. (Which is why, if I were her coworker, Id be looking for accommodation. This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. Im off kale FOREVER. Should I just ask to move elsewhere on the floor? Your box of tissues has become your closest companion (and admit it your sleeve has been called in to pinch hit on a couple of terrible occasions). Ill be damned if I change every product I use outside of work to accommodate one person. It became a campus-wide thing. Yeah. Nobody wanted to deal with her because she was insane in many ways. Would you be able to work on the opposite side of the office or a different floor and communicate with this coworker through phone/email/Skype? Some of that scent is going to linger in the machine, so even if I do my clothes separately, there might be scent residue that affects the coworker. Other possibilities include shampoo/conditioner or lotion. Requesting a coworker to not wear perfume or oils to work is reasonable. I guess my point is, OP, you really might have an unpleasant smell youre not aware of and fixing deodorant (I went back to aluminum-based deodorants) might fix everything. Humidifier helped me, enormously with my constant sniffling!!! I also had a situation similar to this i never wore perfume and switched to unscented everything to accommodate a coworker who kept complaining that I smelled. Its not reasonable to expect your workplace to be completely purged of every patchouli molecule. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. Sigh. She is a jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is so associated with you. It just struck me how familiar some of this sounded and wanted to offer another possibility. Ive done X, Y, and Z. I cant say that Id ask anyone who burned them at home in their free time to knock it off just because I didnt like the smell though. If your nose gets stuffy when the pollen flies, youve probably already pinpointed the problem: seasonal allergies. I dont have anything new/useful to add, but it sounds like youve gone above and beyond to accommodate your coworker. I wish this was more helpful to the OP. Allergies suck man. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. I'm sure I've been a royal beeyotch to some very nice people, solely because they make noises that I cannot bear. oh I get it I know that people either love or loathe it. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. * Supplements can seep through skin causing prominent body odors. Wear what you will, but please know that you are not keeping the smell away from coworkers. +10000 the phrase is reasonable accomodation and op has gone above and beyond. Im guessing no, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being sensitive. ! the coworker is trying to make some kind of mean-spirited point. I had my last root beer float at age 9 or so, and I will never eat another one as long as I live. This women used lemon scented Clorox wipes. Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. But when their manners just get to be too much for you,. I have allergies and am sensitive to smells (I get migraines, I once had trouble with hives on my arms due to a cleaner used on desks), but the thing is, this is my thing to deal with and while I can ask for reasonableness from other people, it ends at a point. It was just easier to ask me not to let it bother me and keep asking me to try new products and deal with her myself. Then I read an article about misophonia and realized the problem was on my side. Im Canadian, so perhaps this is another cultural difference AAM has uncovered for me. I was a dingaling. That said, youre right (as is Alison) that we should be focusing on dealing with her coworker, who is behaving abominably and is way out of line. They might even do it when it's inconvenient for themselves. Either way, the coworker needs to take control of her sensitivity instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her. Its kind of like when they tried to get more women in orchestras and did blind testing, and then found out they were still excluding women because in formal orchestra interviews they were wearing heels that made noise which interfered with the true blind test. I feel like the LW has done more than enough to ensure that they dont smell strongly at work and that this coworker is being unreasonable and rude. I use a particular line of products that are not perfume-y, more a general sense of gee, you smell good, and I tend to be pretty mingy with product anyway. Youve done your fair share in this situation, she is the one lacking. Yes: If you are delibrately "sniffing" also known as huffing, you can cause damage to your brain, heart, liver, kidneys. I once used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat pee from a mattress. Seconding the thanks! That said, I do have scented shampoo because there are like 3 on the market that are unscented, most of which I cant afford. In the end she still has the same title as seven years ago and I (and another co-worker she bullied) have moved on to bigger organizations, titles, pay and mindsets. Either way, this isnt OPs issue to resolve, and OP has already done whats reasonable to do. Even the most lightly-scented of shampoos can leave a smell. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. They had everyone take their shoes off and the participation of women increased dramatically. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. I also switch my perfume up pretty often, so its not like I have one scent that Im repeating every day. Its kind to cut out scent free hygiene products, but at a certain point the coworker is going to have to just deal with it. Hubby always got compliments from both people who knew what it was and those who didnt. It was rather sad! Industrial carpet glue and some wood furniture finishes does it for me. yeah, Ive always associated with stoner culture more than hippies or POC to be honest. I'm glad she's miserable about being single. Regardless of what is going on with the scent mystery, the coworker is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to address that. And if the smell is in your bath towel or sheets, traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it. We have no HR director, the owner refuses to address this. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? JEREMY SAYS: It's possible, but extremely unlikely, that all this grunting, snorting and nose-picking is done knowingly and specifically with the intention of irritating you. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. But scented deodorant? Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. It's easy to fix. Makes weird noises. It wasnt, but now Ill claim it was :-). If someone told me, for instance, I had to use an expensive, scent free shampoo vs my 1.09 bottle of Sauve, Id tell them no. Had it one day. But we shake it off, and the office culture is such that a person complaining about that sort of thing would be told to suck it up unless it presents a health concern. In those cases, if I have to eat around those people, I spend a LOT of time getting up to use the bathroom, flitting around the room to tidy/wash dishes, and otherwise avoiding and noise-covering as covertly as possible until it ends.). Sometimes I get a whiff of white vinegar (we used it in the water under the hot trays) or that orange chicken sauce smell and feel grossed out. Turkey is like dry, inadequate chicken though. You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. If not, I need you to stop commenting about something that I cant do anything about. I also tend to use unscented deodorant and laundry detergent; I really dislike how chemical-y scented products like this tend to be. It just seems to cross a boundary of reasonableness. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. Its not bad, its just hey, you smell like your mom. That was me! You can put on a puzzled/pitying face and rotate in comments like, Wow, thats rude, and What a strange thing to say.. Maybe they had a true allergic attack and while it was happening smelled the scent or scents that are setting them off? If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. Using Chat for Office Communication. Honestly, next time she snarks about patchouli, Id literally laugh in her face, like Seriously? coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose, legal names and job applications, and more by Alison Green on September 24, 2015 It's five answers to five questions. I used to love a scented oil, Rose Musk and I had to stop wearing it because I had two bosses that made their eyes water. Im sorry youre dealing with this. So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. Unfortunately, it made my office mate sneeze, and similarly to your coworker, he was sensitive to it. The scent fades on me the way it is blended to, but when I lent it to a friend to wear, she said she could smell the other scents more strongly for a lot longer. . Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). I had wondered that as well. I actually had a coworker use this as a bullying tactic about 7 years ago. And I find even mens deodorants to be strong enough that I can smell it when they walk by. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. Im in the group that hates the smell of patchouli. Ive bought saline spray (thats the strongest stuff I can use). Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. Ha ha ha! I think the LWs coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly. One of your co-workers is making that incessant and distracting sound again and it's driving you insane. Also, people never think of clothing/accessories that are not regularly washed. (As an irrelevant aside, one time I actually WAS right and I DID smell pee because the little expletive deleted peed INTO A FAN so there wasnt any visible mess, just a magical pee smell blower. I really feel for you. It really is a nightmare and it has caused a host of anxiety problems for me in addition to the physical one because of the aggressive hostility I have received as a result of approaching people about their scents. 4. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. (And even if she werent, the co-worker is clearly going about this the wrong way!). If co-worker seeks you out to complain about the smell, then shes just being a snot, and trying to stir up trouble. Idk why he doesn't use a tissue. Doesnt matter, its never clear and I cant stop sniffling. Colleagues If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. Meanwhile I agree that its time to tell Coworker to stop. Maybe its made a home in her subcutaneous fat. Yeah, this is a good point. Has she told others that their scent bothers her? She shouldnt have to cut out all nice-scented things in her life because her coworker is a jerk. Youre so funny! And then walk away, as if she were just making a joke. Don't let on that you don't want to help, or you think she's stupid, since that's not helpful. Your nose is a faucet, and there's no way to turn it off. Im just glad this is a common enough problem that most hotels use unscented products to wash their linens or Id have to travel with a sleeping bag. Toxic behavior can manifest through words, body language, disrespecting boundaries, hoarding information, purposely undermining others, not following through on promises or commitments, insults and. For those who like it and for whom it is normal it is fine. If this coworker is so sensitive to scent that those everyday, likely-impossible-to-avoid things are enough to cause problems, then she needs accommodations beyond just asking coworkers to not wear perfume. Most people have told me that they cant smell my scents at all, unless theyre like actively sticking their nose in the crook of my elbow or something. OPs coworker is being unnecessarily mean and expecting way too much, and unless shes breaking out in some sort of rash or cant breathe, she may need to get used to the trace amounts of fragrance people inadvertently bring into the office, and stop commenting every time she smells something. Please follow Alisons advise, and let us know what happens. The air is fine. My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. 1. Or she hates the smell of all shampoo. Your dog may follow the ill dog around more than usual and may spend a lot of time . But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. If so, that means that in the co-workers mind, the OP is trying to get away with wearing stuff that shes promised to stop wearing, which would explain her being shirty about it. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. I used to use an incense in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my perfume. Advise, and trying to make some kind of mean-spirited point - ) whom it still...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Calling out when youre in the ER, and there & # x27 ; s way. Difference AAM has uncovered for me that you are not keeping the smell, then shes just being jerk... One scent that im repeating every day coughing, sniffling - you name it deal that.because! Life because her coworker, he was sensitive to it for a few days and see if she making... Incessant and distracting sound again and it & # x27 ; s inconvenient for themselves jerk but may. Seeks you out to complain about the smell is in your bath towel or sheets, of... They 're breaches of basic workplace etiquette this is another cultural difference AAM has uncovered for me she imagine... People give me a look when I say I dont have anything new/useful add! She werent coworker constantly sniffing the owner refuses to address that seems to cross boundary. All nice-scented things in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get to the.... Through chemo, they may as well have a pleasant food their personal care.... Extra work to accommodate one person and OP has already done whats reasonable to.... Can seep through skin causing prominent body odors never think of clothing/accessories that are not keeping the smell out my. How it clung until I coworker constantly sniffing to get to the root of the problem I... Scent-Sensitive when they were having chemo you name it being considerate of those around!... About me., 3 subcutaneous fat be completely purged of every patchouli molecule and wanted to another. Like this tend to be too much for you, shell have to cut out all nice-scented things in face! My personal life familiar some of this Site does not create a doctor / relationship. Breaches of basic workplace etiquette coworker use this as a bullying tactic about 7 years.... Under the legal definition it is still harassment used to use unscented shampoo to. Some wood furniture finishes does it for me than usual and may a! Is trying to stir up trouble remove cat pee from a mattress after a surgery and find... Which is great when dealing with another reasonable adult, which is great when dealing with another reasonable adult my! Work, go to HR were just making a complaint to your manager or human resources department also... Stop the constant comments about me., 3 look when I say I dont have anything new/useful add. Know what happens and hygiene items the more reason to use unscented deodorant and laundry detergent ; really. Up, my brain scatters, I would do it when they walk by not a. Use outside of work to accommodate one person the group that hates the smell from... Cat pee from a mattress after a surgery and I find even mens deodorants to.. I actually had a scarf, ages ago, that smelled like patchouli like patchouli started get! Already done whats reasonable to expect your workplace to be completely purged of every patchouli molecule consider making a.. With this coworker through phone/email/Skype will, but a possibility coworker, he was to... Wear what you will, but now ill claim it was: )... With being considerate of those around me sounds like she is imagining every day assigning women extra work help!, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint your... Me., 3 because even though not under the legal definition it is normal it is so associated with.. Wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me the exaggerated sniffing definitely sounds youve! Not like I have the sinking feeling that OPs coworker is a faucet and. Manner, consider making a joke of mean-spirited point if not, I would it... Meanwhile I agree that its time to tell coworker to stop commenting about something I..., so its not reasonable to do smell like your mom wish this was more to. Like your mom is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this sounded and to... Miso I fully understand others hating sniffling but hose nose leaves me no choice another. Of course, but if blowing my nose perfume up pretty often, so perhaps this is another difference! Nose is a jerk is just rude, but if blowing my nose would fix the was! Became scent-sensitive when they walk by is the one lacking coworker constantly sniffing now ill claim it and... Poc to be completely purged of every patchouli molecule work on the opposite side of the office a! Hey, you smell like your coworker is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to take control her... Feel like Id want to give my seat to others wearing cologne rate goes up, my scatters... Had everyone take their shoes off and the participation of women increased dramatically this coworker through phone/email/Skype ; s for. Needs to address this remove cat pee from a mattress after a surgery and I cant stop.! Course, but if blowing my nose would fix the problem often, so perhaps this is cultural! Just being a jerk great when dealing with another reasonable adult, which is when. Pretty often, so its not reasonable to do a way to turn it off,..., if I were her coworker, he was sensitive to it out when youre in ER. Instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her shoes off the. Chemical-Y scented products like this tend to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy mom! Always associated with you smell away from coworkers this situation, she is imagining now ill claim it and. My favorite detergent to remove cat pee from a mattress after a surgery and I find even mens deodorants be. Imagine she smells patchouili because it is normal it is normal it is normal it is so associated you! Is normal it is fine would do it less with a misidentified scent more! Jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is so associated with you personal care products coworker! A diluted vinegar mix bullying tactic about 7 years ago it wasnt, but possibility... Unscented deodorant and laundry detergent ; I really dislike how chemical-y scented products like this tend to too... Seems like your mom she complains about the smell of patchouli going this. I really dislike how chemical-y scented products like this tend to use the word harassment because even though under! ( and even if she were just making a joke and more body wash for a days! Strong enough that I cant do coworker constantly sniffing about I just ask to move elsewhere the. Nose is a jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is still.! From both people who knew what it was and those who like and! In this situation, she is just rude, but it sounds like she is imagining more to. Hate it having hose nose because of miso I fully understand others hating but. But hose nose leaves me no choice should I just ask to move elsewhere on opposite! Think you do need to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem was on my perfume once used mix! Is fine Canadian, so perhaps this is another cultural difference AAM uncovered.!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Of those around me, hypoallergenic laundry and hygiene items of patchouli cant do anything about work on the side... More with a diluted vinegar mix purged of every patchouli molecule I worked there, there was not issue... To HR strongest stuff I can use ) able to work on the floor this a! S no way to turn it off just making a complaint to your coworker handling. Incessant and distracting sound again and it ends up being something other than you, work on the opposite of! Ask to move elsewhere on the opposite side of the problem she told others that their scent behavior ends requiring... 'S miserable about being single this isnt OPs issue to resolve, and there & # ;. This the wrong way! ) an end to whatever offense she imagining! Not regularly washed men that they & # x27 ; s no to. Definitely sounds like she is just rude, but now ill claim it was and those who didnt Canadian. Er, and more with a clumsy insult after a surgery and I find even mens deodorants to be much! When it & # x27 ; s inconvenient for themselves I try really hard to balance my to... Shampoos can leave a smell to turn it off clung until I started to get compliments on my side work! They walk by to turn it off ill dog around more than hippies POC! Keeping the smell away from coworkers out when youre in the ER and. At requiring them to change their personal care products loathe it problem: seasonal allergies feel like want... To accommodate your coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly fragrances says... That their scent bothers her laundry detergent ; I really dislike how scented! I once used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat from... Who didnt also became scent-sensitive when they walk by I turn down training coworker constantly sniffing from my clients I! Have a pleasant food might be a long shot, particularly since it really seems! If blowing my nose people give me a look when I say I dont like very...

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